So I'm up late again today, and this time it's all my fault.  No sick kids...just bad habits I guess.  LOL, this whole week I've been up with sick children.  I do have my eye on Bradley though, he had a fever earlier today and his medicine should be wearing off now, so I want to see if it'll come back or not. 

So earlier this week i went to an Arbonne party and today I did a lot of research about their business opportunities.  It definitely has me intrigued!  I need extra income and might really enjoy the work.  The earning potential is somewhere around $2000/mo after working for 6 months.  Probably more like $500/mo the first 6 months.  It doesn't cost too much to get started.  I haven't mentioned it to Adam yet, he's working all weekend at the Strawberry festival...but I'll mention it to him next week. 

I started the week long trial of Arbonne's facial cleansing system.  So far it feels like almost too much moisture, but we'll see.  I didn't try to put makeup on top of the moisturizer today so that may make a difference. 

While the Arbonne thing is still up in the air, today I did decide something...I need a schedule!  I need to have a plan on what I'm going to do each day - what are my goals, what chores will I do, what activity will I do with the kids, etc.  I feel like I've accomplished nothing this week, and I'm sure a lot of that has to do with everyone being sick, but still...it's starting to get to me.  Lynnea asks me everyday what we're going to do the next day and the day after that, and on and on until I tell her to stop.  :)  Ever since I've been home, I don't have much to tell her about our plans.  I think we're both a little stir crazy.  This next week I'll try harder on that. 

I need to figure what I'll do daily, weekly, biweekly, and monthly.  For instance, daily items would include dishes, laundry, and something education with Lynnea.  Weekly I need to take the kids to the library, clean the bathrooms and the floors, go grocery shopping, and work on bills.  Biweekly I want to go to the zoo and the beach, and work on my calling.  Monthly I'll probably need to do some deep cleaning thing...I'm not sure yet.  Lots to consider still...oh, and I'll be teaching piano in June one day a week.  I guess my schedule is filling up if I can actually keep up with it all. 

Sick, sick, sick kids

Up late with my sick, little princess right now.  Turns out the kids caught hand, foot and mouth from my cousin's baby this past weekend.  They came down for Bradley's baby blessing and unfortunately everyone got sick  :(  Jordan started with a fever and vomiting on Tuesday and now has a wicked diaper rash, as well as sores on his mouth, feet, hands, legs, hips, arm, etc...basically his whole body.  I think he's through the worst of it now though thankfully.  Last night he was so miserable from the sores on his feet he could barely sleep.  He kept crying and trying to rub his feet - poor baby didn't understand why they hurt so bad!  This afternoon, Lynnea told me her she was hot (fever) and her neck hurt (meaning her throat hurt), which is the first sign of HFM.  I had to wake her up from an unrestful sleep this evening to give her some Tylenol because she was so hot.  Since then she's thrown up twice and now we're hanging out on the couch watching Phineas and Ferb cartoons.  I think the Tylenol's starting to help now b/c she doesn't feel so hot as before and has stopped crying and complaining. 

I just hate having sick kids - I feel so helpless!!  All I can do is hold them close, sing them songs, and pray that it passes quickly.  I do sort of enjoy the tradition Lynnea and I have created though...whenever she's nauseaus at night we go downstairs, cuddle on the couch and watch tv or a movie together.  I can tell that's what she expects now - I think that's kinda cool.

I'm really worried about Bradley catching this sickness.  I think I have it, but as an adult you don't usually get it so bad.  I feel like I have one blister inside my mouth, and I may get a little worse but I hope not.  My mom caught it too - she's got a blister on her finger and was very tired on Wednesday.  Adam's worried about catching it, which he may without even noticing.  I'm just mostly concerned about Bradley and hoping that since I'm nursing he'll have my antibodies and a strong enough immune system to fight it off.  Poor baby would be so miserable!!  The fever scares me, and the fact that he may lose his appetite and get dehydrated.  If he does, then he'd have to be hospitalized and get an IV!! :(  Also the blisters on his hands and feet, and probably a nasty diaper rash, will just make him so miserable!  I feel for him already!!  I pray that he'll be able to bypass this sickness!

I guess the good thing about HFM is that since adults don't get it very bad, I feel well enough to take care of everyone.  It'd be awful if I felt horrible as well!! 

This experience helps me know that I really do need to be home.  With 3 kids, there is so much that I'm responsible for.  i don't want to pass this responsibility onto anyone else.  As hard as it is, I'm glad I'm here for my children.  If I was still working I'd have to either take off work (and feel the stress of getting behind at work) or feel guilty about asking my mom to step in. 

Yesterday i received my very last paycheck. Scary!!  I think this our new financial state is going to come as a shock.  I'm really glad we have some money saved up, but unfortunately I feel that we may blow through it pretty quickly while we adjust to one income.  Tight times up ahead, I know - but if we can get through the summer, I'll start teaching piano in the fall and that will help out.  I'll continue to work on other ways to earn an income as well.  I wrote a children's book the other day.  I still need to do illustrations and research how to self-publish an ebook, but once I do that i should be able to earn a little bit of money that way.  Especially if I keep writing.  I also might get involved with an in-home sales business, Arbonne.  I need to research it some more to see if I really want to go that route.  It's a possibility...I'll do anything that will allow me to be home with my children!

Well, today I gave my 2 weeks notice at work.  I’m freaking out and very excited all at the same time.  I’ve always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, so this is a realization of a dream – but my reluctance remains.  How will we survive on one income?  And I’m dropping so many benefits…not just health insurance, but life insurance policies on everyone, long term disability, dental/vision, ADPL, not to mention a salary, a life outside of my home, feeling personally successful and appreciated.  I feel so insecure still – will I be a good enough mother?  If I’m the one raising my children, it’s all up to me!  I’ve got to make sure they grow in health, wisdom, and spirituality.  I’m the one who must teach them to be patient, kind, charitable, obedient, independent, loving, responsible, dependable and the list goes on and on.  How can I ever succeed at something so overwhelming?  I can’t help but think about the financial benefits we’d have if I continued to work – and they’re not all selfish:  college savings for the kids, finally buy a home, have a retirement, etc.  It’s so tempting!  Even to think of what one more year of working could bring.  Such a tempting cycle!!

The good thing is that Adam is supportive and wants me to be home as well.  That doesn’t mean he’s not scared either, but at least we’re on the same page and both willing to make the financial sacrifices needed. 

I’ve been home for 10 weeks now on maternity leave.  So far my time has been spent taking care of Bradley and trying to adjust to life with 3 children.  I’ve quickly learned this is no picnic!  This is tough!!  Lynnea and Jordan are thankfully adjusting well and I haven’t had to deal with major behavorial issues, but they quickly learned that while mom is busy with the baby (nursing or otherwise) I can’t keep as close an eye on them.  They’ve also seemed to learn that unless I actually get up to intervene in the activity or argument, that all my threats don’t mean anything.  I feel powerless – which I really don’t like!! 

So my thoughts and priorities are switching from deadlines and project updates to things like should I send my daughter to public school in the fall or home school, who’s got the best deal on milk this week, and is Jordan ready for potty training yet?